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May 22, 2005
Revenge of the Suck.
I have an awfully bad feeling about this movie... and the fact that Ewan McGregor looks an awful lot like Colonel Sanders.
You know, my mother always told me that when the intials of something spelled a word, it was an omen. Anyone else notice that the acronym for Revenge Of The Sith, the sixth Star Wars film, spells ROTS?
I'm just saying...
I enjoyed the first 3 films, hell I'd even forgive the Ewoks since I was a kid then. The fourth, Episode 1, I liked. It had some problems, but it was good. I think they cast Anakin way too young, especially since he and Padme were supposed to be getting it on in the next movie, but it was still ok.
Attack of the Clones. God, Attack of the Clones. I still haven't been able to sit through Attack Of The Clones, no matter how hard I try.
And now with Revenge of the Sith, our wait is over and we finally get to see the transformation from Good Guy into the man who was voted the third most fearsome villian, right after Norman Bates & Hannibal Lector.
And if you go to see RotS as a fan who just wants to see fight scenes and that transformation, and can resist picking the movie apart... well, you're gonna love it. It's action packed, dropping you directly into a battle.
If you feel like you might analyze the film in any way, shape, or form... well, I'm sorry but Lucas' latest creation will fall apart faster than one of Micheal Jackson's alibis.
Here's some things that bugged me about RotS. These are relatively spoiler free, because I know quite a few people haven't seen it.
- The official Star Wars Bio for Princess Leia says she remembers her mother, yet Padme dies in childbirth. Um, damn Leia has a great memory. That day must have been really tramatic for her.
- Enough of the Cutesy Robots! Climatic fight scenes do not need cutesy robots getting in the way. Especially if they aren't R2 or C3P0.
- Hayden physically looks like he could be related to Mark Hamill. I'll give Lucas that. But his motivation for "going to the dark side" seems to be the same motivation he'd use for "charley horse".
- No wonder Padme died. I don't remember the poor girl spreading her legs when she gave birth.
There's so much more, but I'm going to wait until more people see it so I don't get called all sorts of names.
Unfortunately, the Star Wars movies are only a small part of an epidemic of sci-fi/fantasy/horror mediocrity that we've been subjected to as of late. The Anne Rice novels since 'Merrick' (probably actually since 'Memnoch The Devil' for more casual fans), the tragedy that was Enterprise... it all seems to point to the well being dry. The few good franchises that have come out recently, like 'Lord Of The Rings' or the Harry Potter blitzkrieg, have been either been decades old or aimed at children.
I can't even bring myself to consider going to the new Star Trek movie when it comes out. It'll be the first to star an cast made especially for a movie. I have a feeling that it's going to suck. I want to be wrong... but my spidey senses are tingling.
I hope that in the near future, we'll start to see new and interesting works in these genres.
But even if I had Vader's respirator mask... I wouldn't hold my breath.
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Posted by aristan at May 22, 2005 06:21 AM